This week we examined the most common misconceptions about marriage by looking at the biblical definition of marriage and comparing it to the world’s view of marriage today. This examination unveiled four of the most common lies we believe about marriage:
1. Lie 1. “Marriage can be between ANY two people in love.” Our society has attempted to redefine marriage to allow marriage between people of the same gender. Jesus defined marriage for us in Matthew 19 as ”a permanent relationship between a man and a woman.” There is NO ambiguity nor interpretation challenges with the biblical definition of marriage. Marriage is, if you believe in the authority of Scripture, exclusively reserved as an institution ordained by God between ONE Man and ONE Woman. Any other definition of marriage is simply not biblical.
2. Lie 2. “Divorce is better than a bad marriage.” Spouses in a troubled marriage want to blame each other for all the problems and want to treat marriage as a negotiable arrangement. Jesus called marriage a permanent relationship. The only biblically-stated exception for divorce was sexual immorality. Marriage is HARD work and we must do everything we can to maintain our relationship with our spouse. The key is for both of you to put God in the center of your marriage.
3. Lie 3. “I can Change my Spouse.” Many people enter into a marriage knowing that their partner has “flaws” which they believe they can “fix” once they are married. The truth is that the only person you can change is yourself. If you are aware of “flaws” in your intended partner before you get married, work them out before you tie the knot or accept that you have signed up for living with them as they are.
4. Lie 4. “I have to be married to be happy.” If you aren’t happy before you are married, you won’t be happy afterwards. NO OTHER PERSON can make YOU happy! Happiness comes from within – not from other people.
A BIG part of unhappy marriages stems from the fact that most of us do not understand the purpose of marriage. Marriage was not designed to make you happy! Marriage exists to glorify and reflect God in the most difficult and intimate of all human relationships. It’s NOT about YOU! It’s about glorifying God through the institution of Marriage. This is why it is CRITICAL that we keep God in the center of our marriages. If HE is the focal point of the marriage in the eyes of both you and your spouse, your marriage will be blessed. Ephesians 5 tells us that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church. Can you imagine how happy your marriage could be if we loved our spouse like Christ loves us. That is the real definition of “Wedded Bliss.” 🙂
-Pastor Dave Jones